At the age of 24 I am having a Mid life crisis or as I like to call it a 'Mid 20's Crisis'!! All the 'real' grown ups around me, i.e those aged 50 and above are always telling me "You're 24! You're still a baby!!" and I don't disagree, I have still have shit loads to learn in life and although life can be rough at times, dare I say I'm actually looking forward to it. But although I am excited to see what my future has in store for me, I have to admit that it's the present that I'm having trouble getting to grips with.
Everyone always tell you that your 20's are the best years, your young, fit, you have no responsibilities (Applicable to those who don't) and your tits and arse are still north of the hotness boarder, so you should be out there living life, having fun and having loads of hot sex with loads of hot guys! But here's the thing, you're 20's are also the first stage in you life where you experience the first drastic changes to your adult life!
Think about it you leave school and go on to higher education or start a career, at this stage in your life you're having a great time with your amigos, and making new ones along the way, you've had your first few doss jobs that have provided you with a little pocket money here and there for you to buy a new outfit for every Saturday night on the tiles, so by now you've started to get a taste of life as a young adult with control over your own future. Then as always time flies and before you know it you've graduated from uni and suddenly things begin to change, and the life that you lived simultaneously with your friends begins to diffuse as each of your life dynamics begin to alter. Everything all of a sudden becomes all serious, some of you get your first career break and get all Sex and the City for work, some of you fall in love, some of you have children and start a family, some of you get married and some of you move away. But then there's always that one little Duckling that wakes up one morning thinking 'what the fuck am I doing with MY life?!' Yes that little duckling is me!
As much as I hate to, I consider myself to be some what of a control Freak and for the past 5 months of my life I have had zero control!
Bottom line is.... 'My name is Sara and I am a Control Freak'..... and probably so are you!
No one likes it when their life takes a turn in the wrong direction. Sometimes these unfamiliar routes are exciting and fun, but some can also be quite dark and daunting and believe me no matter how tough you are, or how figured out you may be, you will most definitely feel yourself losing control as your life takes a turn down 'What The Fuck Ally'!!
Even if your only on 'What The Fuck Ally' for a short time it can often feel like a lifetime!
It's so hard to see past what your in while your in it. When you're happy it doesn't matter seeing past the moment that you're in because it feels so good right? But when your in a place that doesn't feel so good, you will knock at any and every door praying the that someone will open and let you back into 'normality' (whatever that may be).
After being lost on 'WTF Ally' for the past 5 months I asked my Dad the other day 'Does life ever get better than this?' he simply answered 'I remember feeling the way that you do, and things do get better, but you have to learn to enjoy all the other bits in between because you never know how long it'll last'.
So now that I'm starting to find my way back out of this Ally here's what I've learnt...
1. For the first time in a long time I have no idea what the hell I am going to do with my life! But instead of being terrified by this I'm learning to become excited by this! I have a blank canvas and a the whole world that contains a wealth of knowledge, cultures and beauty waiting to become elements of the vision that I will paint.
2. There's no point in trying to control things that you have no control over, let nature takes its course and understand that everything happens for a reason.3. Change is a natural process of life, but change is also something that you can implement by your damn self! If you don't like something... do something about!
4. People are not always who or what they seem.
5. Love is Pain and Pain is Love.... Enjoy it!
6. Forgiveness is a must for the soul!
7. It's better to have a a few amazing friendships then to have a bunch of pointless friendships.
8. And Finally..... You never know what the future holds! (Cheesy but true)
Love Sara (A little lady with ???? dreams). xxxx