Friday, 12 June 2015

Heeding The Signs

Hello there love bugs!
I hope you’re all well and happy?

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here and my, my, my, has a lot changed since my last post on 29 November 2014! (What a shameful time gap!)

If you are a regular reader of For The Love of Moi, you would’ve noticed that in the posts leading up to the last one in November last year, FTLOM took a turn in the type of content that was being shared. I assure you that this was not planned but was merely a reflection of what was going on in my life at that time.

So to give you the short version, here’s the skinny on what led to the changes in the content and my life.

Now as some of you may remember in 2013 I managed to get the job of my dreams that I had been working so hard for! Don’t get me wrong it was no high flying job with the salary to match, but was that foot in the door that I had wanted and was enough for me. However the more involved I became in my job the more my body was trying to tell me to slow down, but as much as I was learning about heeding the signs of life, I sure as hell wasn’t heeding these signs until one day at our busiest time of the year on my way to work I was involved in a car crash which should have been more than enough to make me or anyone for that matter stop and say, “Ok universe, I’ve heard you loud and clear! From this day forth I vow to put my health first”, but no that wasn’t enough for little ol’ me now was it, as the very next day I was back at my laptop, (even if it was from my living room whilst propped up by ever cushion in the room.)

It wasn’t until I had a full blown panic attack in the canteen whilst at work with embarrassing visions flashing through my mind of being airlifted out of the campus and taken to the nearest hospital that I realised that I was suffering from anxiety which the doctors failed to pick up on when I told them I was having breathing problems to which their solution was to put me on steroid based medication!!!

So after going back to the doctor and telling them that the problem was not asthma, but was in fact anxiety (imagine having to tell your doctor what they should have told you! A rant for another day) they told me the best thing anyone could have ever told me at that stage of my anxiety, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear … which went something like this; ‘Sara, you have two options, you can either find a way of coping or you can find a new job’!

Fast forward one year and this is where I’m at; I worked through a lot of my anxiety with the support of my family, friends, colleagues who have become friends and an amazing yoga teacher and realised that there were a lot of things that needed to change in my life which started with the way that I was treating myself and the way that I approached life.
I found ways of managing my workload as well as more time for myself, I realised that there were other factors that contributed to my anxiety which I am still learning how to deal with, but the most important thing that I have learned so far, is the importance of the connection with myself which I somehow managed to lose along the way. However since this realisation I have managed to restore and continue to build this connection every single day, and yes, even on the shit days, because we all have them no matter how zen we deem ourselves to be.

As for the job, I called it a day and followed my heart to rekindle an old flame. I packed my bags, left on jet plane and to be honest, I’m not too sure when I’ll be back again!

But in mean time I plan to keep sharing my experiences and discoveries with you all, which will include the good, the bad and the hella ugly, as I know I’m not alone on this amazing rollercoaster we call life and what’s an experience if you’re not able to share it? Even if it’s only through a blog.

Love Sara. xxx 

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